28 Feb Who Am I?
Tomorrow is the unveiling of my website and as I sit here deciding how to introduce my personal blog, I am overcome with a wave of emotions. It’s been a long road that has brought me to this point and reflecting back at all the struggles, all the tears, all the times I wanted to quit, I am overcome with pride. Because I remember all to well what it feels like to hit rock bottom. To care about nothing and nobody. To go through the motions of life just waiting and wishing for something “good” to fall into my lap.
Back then I thought I was alone. I suffered in silence. On the outside I was an intelligent young lady with an amazing family. I am the oldest of four and with only six and half years between me and my youngest siblings, we all grew up pretty close. I always received amazing grades, was in all Honors classes, and earned a full ride to Arizona State for academics. But on the inside I was extremely insecure, unhappy, and I remember feeling “tired” all the time.
My name is Kristen Maynard. I am 26 years old and I grew up and still live in Arizona. I am engaged to be married this year to the most amazing man I could ever imagine. Life is going well for me and even when I hit bumps in the road, my mindset is such that everything happens for a reason and this too shall pass.
I have completely transformed from my former self. I have a new zest for life; a passion; a fire. I have always been a hard worker, but this is the first time in my life I am putting my heart and soul into what I do. My passion is what drives me and I lead from the heart.
I used to hide my past away. I was ashamed of my disorder and the broken young lady I once was. The thought of that version of me used to fill me with rage. I would look back and recall the version of me who had fallen victim to ED (eating disorder) and used to pity herself. I actually hated grew to hate her.
I would encounter other women – friends, family, friends of friends who I knew were struggling and I would look at them with the same disdain I had for my former self. But there was also a hint of sympathy because I knew all to well the affects of this mental disease and the damage it causes and continues to cause. Because as some who have struggled as I have, the mental voice of ED never truly goes away.
It was then that I realized that I could actually help others just like me – those who continued to struggle. But first I had learn to accept my past and stop being so angry at the girl I used to be. I had to embrace her – because without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
I would never wish this disease on anyone, but I also know that it is because of my struggles that I have emerged a much stronger, healthier, and happier person. I have been to the bottom, and it’s the commitment to myself to become the best version of me daily, that has kept me from ever going back there.
THAT is what I know I can get across to others – there is hope. But it all comes from within. It starts with believing in yourself and your capabilities. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I would be lying if I said I don’t have moments of weakness or begin to retract back into feelings of self doubt and insecurities. However, it is in these moments, that I continue to find the strength and use it to power forward.
I wanted to encompass all of this when creating ReDefine U. I wanted to create ReDefine U as a way to help others find their best self – whether that’s physically or, more commonly, mentally and emotionally though this process. Most clients come to me looking to get in shape and look better physically, but most find they learn a lot about themselves in the process and begin to transform into happier, healthier versions of themselves and THAT’S why I will continue to share my journey.
Every single person reading this is on a journey. A journey full of twists and turns and behind every turn, under every rock, between every hard place, is the opportunity for personal growth. None of us are perfect, and we learn to accept that. We must learn to accept what we cannot control, change what we can control, and garner the wisdom to know the difference. If you come to my site looking for a “diet”, you’re in the wrong place. Diets imply there is a deadline; a destination end point. What I will continue to work towards is helping others find the best versions of themselves. How to change the way we think, the way we eat, the way we live, in the hopes of finding a happier, healthier, and balanced version of the person we already are. I believe this is the only way we can achieve sustainable results for lifeJ
My goal with this blog is to share my personal insights and thoughts (“rants”, for those of you who follow my snapchat = km_fit). I will use this is a “personal” blog as there is no research done to back up my musings. You can find more articles under “Nutrition and Training” blogs. I shall reserve this space for thoughts and experiences I have had along my journey. I know that those reading this may all be at different spots in their own journeys, but I find that sometimes our experiences are not all that different and knowing that we are not alone in our dealings is extremely comforting when traveling along a sometimes otherwise “lonely” path.
I promise not all my posts will be this long – nor this philosophical! But as I said, launching my site tomorrow has brought in a whole new wave of emotions and I felt compelled to take the time to reflect on my journey thus far.
So, cheers to the start of this new chapter!